Short but sweet this one. I’ve got so many vouchers now, they’re coming out the wazoo (whatever that means)! I don’t want anymore, so now I shall begin refusing vouchers in exchange for something better. I’ll still get vouchers for you guys, so be sure to...

I thought I had stopped receiving spam, thanks to my tireless efforts of mocking and/or insulting them, but just recently, it’s picked up again, and it’s really rather tedious. Apart from the penis enlargement pills. They seem...

  I know you guys have missed these complaints letters, but luckily for you (and unluckily for me), lots of bad stuff has been happening to me lately. So stay tuned for loads of increasingly adventurous complaints! And be sure to email admin@trendflux.com if you have any complaints of...

  The thing about Halloween is that it’s just as mysterious as it is frightening. No one really knows why it came about. I think, by now, we all know that Halloween is a contraction of ‘All Hallow’s Eve’, and if we didn’t, at least we all know someone who...

  Not many sports are all that great when confined to a table. Table Rugby hurts a lot, Table Skiing is short-lived, and Table Chess is a lot like regular chess. But Table Tennis is the perfect blend of athleticism and, err, tables. Ever thought that tennis should just be smaller? Or...

  Freshers’ Fair is a mysterious time for everyone involved. These poor students have not only been thrust into a brand new academic institution, but they’re now being forced to amble meekly round a giant hall, trying not to make eye-contact with any stallholders, lest they be...

  You know, throughout these letters, I’ve been quite demanding, perhaps a little rude, but it turns out (as always) that kindness is the way forward. I wonder what sorts of things I can get from now on, just by being...

  This article is dedicated to Adrian Noronha. Where would we be without him..?   I think it’s fair to say the universe is pretty large place, and it turns out most of it isn’t exactly ideal for settling down and starting a family. In fact, even this small speck of dust known as...

  I do love a good email correspondence! Unfortunately, this is not one of those. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a computer, and I don’t know why I bother. Sniff. But I must go on. My people need me, as a continue to act as a Voucher...

  So the legal department here at TrendFlux HQ have advised me that I probably shouldn’t complain to Tesco again (and again. And again). You know, for fear of real-life repercussions. But when a TrendFlux reader comes to me with their complaint, what am I supposed to do? Well, I...

  So today is Friday 13th. That shit cray. Today is apparently the day where, if things can go wrong, they will. I personally have taped up all my mirrors, lain flat all my ladders, and tied up all my black cats in a large sack. Yup, nothing bad can happen to me today (unless it involves...

Occasionally, I don’t have the time to be emailing back and forth. I just wanna get in there, get the free money, and get out. I call these ‘Smash-and-Grab jobs’. Oh look, there’s one just here. Please...

  Unstoppable: even the title exudes both destruction and hopelessness. The trailer was all jumpcuts and explosions, and made reference to ‘a missile the size of the Chrysler Building’, so when it ended with a massive ‘based on a true story’ note plastered all over it, I was...

  The ‘cabin in the woods’ premise has done so many times that even Michael Cera would agree that it’s getting repetitive. So when a film comes along by that very title, it confuses your brain so very much that grey matter begins oozing out of your ears. Is this a film so...

  I s it just me, or do trailers give away far too much these days? From nothing more than a few minutes of promo, you are already shown the epic finale, who the bad guy is, and all the funny lines. So when I saw the trailer for ‘The Raid’, which simply amounts to 1 and a half...

So I’ve been emailing Tesco a lot, and they don’t really like it. To get an understanding of what’s going on below, I suggest that you first read Part I. I’ll wait for you to get back. You may notice that here, I’ve taken to using a different email address. This...

  By now, we’ve seen all the wannabe-superhero films out there, like Kick-Ass, Super, and Defendor (by which of course I mean you’ve only seen Kick-Ass) and don’t they look awesome? Going around, fighting crime, without a care in the world! Unfortunately, when you don’t have...

  In the biggest revelation to rock the fruit world since they discovered that bananas are fluorescent (yes, really), it turns out that a new fruit has recently been discovered! And it’s due to go on sale in Marks And Spencer next week! Grown in New Zealand, this fruit has the...

  TO:              ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk FROM:       coralieodo@yahoo.co.uk SUBJECT: yours with love and trust   hello dear? ho ware you doing today all is well with you and your health well if you dont mind am miss Coralie by name i will like to have you as my best...

  Sometimes, you just know that when you complain to a particular company, you’re gonna have a bad time. For example, if I were to complain to a quirky, independent clothes manufacturer, oh haha! What fun we would have. However, when complaining to a cigarette and general smoking...

  Whilst I haven’t conducted any particularly rigourous experiments, I think it’s safe to say that coulrophobia (a fear of clowns) is definitely up there on the list of ailments that plague our children/ourselves. I mean, there’s a reason that The Joker wasn’t...

  I think it’s fair to say that I love noodles (and similar) just as much as the next man. But I don’t like them being shoved down my throat. I have a propensity to vomit. So how do you think I felt when an overly-friendly China-man tried to sell me some food? …Pretty...

  You may remember a couple of weeks ago that I made my first penpal. If not, you really ought to go check it out here, else this article might not make too much sense. Anyways, can you imagine how excited I was when I was about to make my second penpal in as many...

  If I was a company (which, I must stress, I’m not) I would ensure that I never made any mistakes just so I knew that I would never have to face the wrath of a particular ‘ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk’. Some companies, however, aren’t so...