Kooky Cookies – A Complaint

 

So the legal department here at TrendFlux HQ have advised me that I probably shouldn’t complain to Tesco again (and again. And again). You know, for fear of real-life repercussions. But when a TrendFlux reader comes to me with their complaint, what am I supposed to do? Well, I guess this is the next best thing…

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TO:              customer.service@sainsburys.co.uk
FROM:        ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
SUBJECT:   Kooky Cookies

 

Dear Sainsburys,

I recently purchased a bag/packet of Tesco Finest White Chocolate Cookies from you, and alas, one of them is severely malshapen, if that is a real word. I have attached a picture, in case you are not sure what ‘malshapen’ means, which I think is the case for most people.

 

Look, it even appears to have a face

 

Anyways, it is rather upsetting that you purport to be selling the ‘finest’ cookies, when in fact they are not fine in the slightest. What is particular depressing is that Sainsburys have provided me with such good service in the past and these ‘Tesco Cookies’ are quite the blemish on an otherwise stellar reputation.

 

I am wondering what you can do for me in this instance. I read somewhere that you changed the name of tiger bread to giraffe bread in order to appease a three year old. Well, I am older than 3, so I demand that you change the name of ‘finest cookies’ to ‘mildly average cookies’. Only then will I consider purchasing them again. Alternatively, change the name of giraffe bread back to tiger bread. It rolls off the tongue better and I would love to see Lily cry.

 

Kindest of regards,

Nathan (3+)

 

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TO:              ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
FROM:       customer.serrvice@sainsburys.co.uk
SUBJECT:   Kooky Cookies

 

Dear Mr O’Neill

Thanks for your email. I’m sorry that the Tesco Finest White Chocolate Cookies you bought recently were misshapen.

 

Here at Sainsbury’s we don’t sell Tesco products, so you will need to contact Tesco directly.

Thanks again for taking the time to contact us.

 

Kind regards

Alan Hurd | Customer Manager

 

—————————–
TO:              customer.service@sainsburys.co.uk
FROM:        ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
SUBJECT:   Kooky Cookies

 

I don’t understand the problem. Can’t you just give me a refund?

 

Many Thanks

Nathan

 

—————————–
TO:              ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
FROM:       customer.serrvice@sainsburys.co.uk
SUBJECT:   Kooky Cookies

 

Dear Mr O’Neill

 

Thanks for your reply.

Sainsbury’s is a seperate company to Tesco. Unfortunately, we can’t give refunds for other supermarkets products. However, please contact your local Tesco store and I’m sure they will be able to refund you for the product.

 

We look forward to seeing you at a Sainsbury’s store soon.

 

Kind regards

Karen McAllister | Customer Manager

 

—————————–
TO:              customer.service@sainsburys.co.uk
FROM:        ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
SUBJECT:   Kooky Cookies

 

Oh I see! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is sooooo EMBARRASSING! Wait until I tell my friends about this! I’ll be the laughing stock of the town! HAHAHAHA.

 

In the meantime, could you please forward on to the Waitrose complaints department?

 

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I’m yet to receive a reply. Or any vouchers for that matter. I guess I’ll just play the waiting game. I quite enjoyed how Mr. Alan Hurd obviously became so infuriated by my ignorance that he had to pass me on to Karen McAllister, who dealt with me rather swiftly.

My sincerest condolences to Hitesh Dhorajiwala for having to deal with these devastating cookies.

 


Want more from this author? Try The Everyman’s Guide To The Placebo Effect

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