Insane-sbury’s


 

Does anyone else hate self-service machines as much as our very own Anthony Dunkley. Perhaps me, after an incident that occurred recently. However, every cloud has a silver lining. Find out more below.
 

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TO:                 customerservice@sainsburys.co.uk
FROM:          ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
SUBJECT:    Where’s My Money?

 

Hello Sainsbury’s,

 

My name is Nathan O’Neill, and I hate self-service machines. (this opening line is how I introduce myself to everyone, but hopefully it will more make sense in the current context) In fact, I hate them so much, there is even an entire article about them on my website, expressing my displeasure. Allow me to lift a few quotes from that article so you can try and understand my mindset.

 

“Come on now, who actually uses those things? It’s as unused as the weights room in Michelle McManus’s house. It’s as useful as Rio Ferdinand tweeting he’s just had a T-bone steak. It’s as annoying as having to read these ridiculously contrived similes.”

 

“Why would anyone want to get in the longest queue in the supermarket and getting stuck behind an old lady, confused by the machine’s incessant beeping.”

 

“You put your item down and are about to scan the next one when, in a very aggressive tone, you’re told that the previous item is not located in the bagging area. IT IS IN THE F**KING AREA. I’ve placed it in gently at first, then harder, then completely on the metal area, then half on, half off. What do they want from me?”

 

As you can see, I’m not a fan of these beasts. But here’s the straw that broke the donkey’s back. Last week, when using a machine in one of your stores, I was given the wrong change.

 

 

I put that ellipsis above in order to give you time to reflect upon the severity of the situation. Upon buying my Mars Bar, Baked Beans, and other items (that I wish not to mention), I was expecting 38p change, so imagine my shock when I only received 28 pence! (1x20p, 1x5p, 1x2p, 1x1p). Thank God I am a prudent coin collector or I may never have noticed!

 

Upon speaking to a member of staff, she informed that this happens all the time. I was so furious about this that I literally ran from the shop and therefore was never reimbursed my 10p. I am appalled that there are a vast number of people across the UK who are also unknowingly shortchanged by these evil robots.

 

Therefore, I am asking that not only do you reimburse me with ten (10) pence, but I would also be willing to accept the reimbursements for everyone else who has ever been through the same scenario as I. I believe that this total comes to approximately £15,690.10 and this is only way that Sainsbury’s as a company will be able to balance out their karma.

 

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Nathan

 

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TO:                  ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
FROM:          customerservice@sainsburys.co.uk
SUBJECT:     Where’s My Money?

 

Dear Mr O’Neill

 

Thanks for your email about our self service checkouts. I’m sorry that you don’t like using these checkouts and I can understand how upset you were when the machine short changed you.

 

Unfortunately you did not give us the name of the store where you were short changed. Please can you provide us with the name of the store in order for us to pass your feedback to the store?

 

We will be happy to reimburse you for the amount that you were short changed.  Please let us have your Nectar card details or your postal address.

 

We appreciate your feedback and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

 

Kind regards

Paul Steedman | Customer Manager

 

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TO:                 customerservice@sainsburys.co.uk
FROM:          ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
SUBJECT:    Where’s My Money?

 

Dear Paul Steedman (or perhaps Paul SPEEDman, given your hasty reply!),

 

Unfortunately, as I was in a fit of blind rage, I cannot remember the exact store I was in. Maybe it was Cranleigh; perhaps it was Godalming. In fact, if you wish to contact all stores in the Surrey area, telling them how their machines make me physically nauseous, I would be most gracious. This way, all the staff would be prepared to deal with my wrath, should such an occasion occur again.

 

I don’t have a Nectar card because I dislike bees. Therefore could you please send a 10p coin to the below address? It would be the best if it was a 2005 coin, as then it would complete my collection.

 

Nathan O’Neill
-redacted-
-redacted-
-redacted-

 

Furthermore, by way of compensation, if you could also include a hand-drawn picture of a teddy bear as a present for my younger brother, I would be forever in your debt.

 

Thank you so much for your assistance in this matter

Nathan

 

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TO:                  ngoneill@hotmail.co.uk
FROM:          customerservice@sainsburys.co.uk
SUBJECT:     Where’s My Money?

 

Dear Nathan,

 

Thanks for your further email. We do take all customer experiences seriously, and will use them to improve our service in future.

 

I’m now speaking to my colleagues to try to find a 10p coin minted in 2005, I can understand why you’ve yet to find one as they do seem quite rare. I’ll send a letter to the address you gave in the next few days.

 

We’re grateful to you for contacting us as your comments do help. I trust you won’t hesitate to get back in touch if there’s anything else we can do.

 

Kind regards

David Smith | Customer Manager

 

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(ACTUAL LETTER)

 

19th September 2011

Reference number: 1-256054212

 

Dear Nathan,

 

Thanks for your email. I’ve enclosed the drawing and 10 pence refund as requested. I hope your brother is happy with it, and will forgive my lack of artistic talent. Unfortunately, I could only find a 2006 minted coin, not 2005, but I trust this will suffice.

 

We take all comments about our checkouts seriously and recognise the importance of customer experience. Your feedback will be used to help us maintain our high standards.

 

We’re therefore grateful that you took the time to write, and look forward to seeing you back in our stores soon.

 

Yours sincerely

David Smith
Customer Manager

 

Enclosed: 10p coin & drawing of teddy bear.


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Yes, I would like to point out this actually happened and I did receive a 10p coin. I chose not to scan that in too, as I’m pretty sure you’ve all seen change before. However, David Smith is wrong, a 2006 coin will not suffice as my collection remains incomplete. The drawing, though, is more than perfect. Find more of these correspondences here.

 


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